Life is in seasons. Seasons are interspersed with events, opportunities and eventualities. We must learn to manage them as they come, especially the eventualities, but if we insist then experience (that second rate teacher) will have to take over from wisdom.
We all, most likely, have had to experience the passing of some one in our lives. Close friends, colleagues at work, family members and relatives! Usually, it is the strength of the bond that determines the depth of pain. What is a passing sorrow for one is understandably a searing agony for another.
But how do we handle these unceremonious moments? Its undesirability does not put us in the mood to prepare for it yet it beckons with expectation on our reaction. These are a few things I think we can do in trying moments like these:
1. Don’t hold back your grief.
While it might look mature to deny the deep pain you feel for your loss, it is quite immortal to mourn. It certainly will not raise the dead, but it will release the pain in your heart. And remember you are not really crying for the dead, you are actually mourning your own unpreparedness for death.
2. Next, channel your grief to refocus your life.
Usually, it is an opportunity for you to remember what is really important in life. No matter how strong you are, in moments like these, you are forced to rethink some of your ideals.
Use the emotional momentum that builds in your mind to move your life in the direction that counts for now and generations to come. Questions like “what will you be remembered for?” may sound archaic but it gets a new lease of life when you are not just philosophizing…when you seem to be summoned to give a compelling reason to Heaven’s Tribunal on why you should live for one more day!
3. Then, learn to stop grieving!
It can’t get simpler than that. Purpose is a perspective that never gets outdated. There is time for everything, the Preacher says. When it’s time to grieve, grieve. When it’s time to stop, please stop.
Apart from the fact that life didn’t come to a standstill for others… actually, you can’t grieve indefinitely. Whereas you might now be characterized with a special seriousness with life and living only for what matters, you must henceforth plug yourself into a mission that will outlive you.
You need to reap the fruit of wisdom at some point after every season of pain or else the pain will be an abuse on your mind.
Living your life to the full henceforth is not only a remedy for a past full of uninspiring activities but the remedial that compensates for the painful loss of a dear one.
– Written by Olamide OPEYEMI @olamidespeaks